You get to choose your circle
The first time I publicly wrote about getting divorced, I noticed myself being nervous about what my ex-husband would think. And then I thought, WHY?? It’s been years since we’ve been divorced, we no longer communicate, and also…. this is MY life, my story, and my experience, and I can share it however and wherever I want. Why do I care what he thinks?
Why do we get so sucked into what other people think? Why do people who are no longer part of our lives influence us so much? Why do we care SO DAMN MUCH about the opinions of others?
It’s because we have a fear of abandonment and a fear of rejection —the two most common core wounds.
According to Psychology Today, a core wound is a deeply ingrained, painful emotional belief formed from childhood experiences or early trauma that shapes an individual's sense of self-worth and behavior. Common examples include feeling unworthy, unlovable, abandoned, or rejected, which create subconscious, negative filters that influence relationships and self-esteem throughout adulthood.
We care so much about what others think because we don’t want to be “voted off the island” and left alone. This make sense, right? Nobody wants to be neglected, rejected, abandoned or left alone to fend for themselves.
But here’s the thing. You get to decide what island you live on. You get to decide who’s in your circle. You get to decide whose opinions you believe. You get to decide the stories you tell.
Getting to decide these things is a CHOICE that you have the POWER to make. It’s called self-leadership and it’s what entrepreneurship calls each of us to do.
Leading yourself means that you do what is in alignment with your values, your purpose, and your intuition.
Leading yourself means that you step vulnerably, honestly, and courageously into and through the muck of life and business.
Leading yourself means that you put your message out there because you know damn well it’s going to make a difference to someone.
Leading yourself means that you intentionally shine the light for others to come along with you.
Leading yourself means you discard the opinions of others.
Leading yourself means that you take action towards your goals, no matter what BS is going on in your head.
Leading yourself means you surround yourself with people that support, encourage, and believe in you.
Over the next few days, I encourage you to reflect on:
What does self-leadership mean to you?
How can you choose yourself over the opinions of others?
What are you stopping yourself from doing because you’re worried about what others may think?
Remember, I’m 100% behind you and can’t wait to see how you more fully step into your leadership, your purpose, and your thriving business.
Love, Vera 💛
P.S. If you're ready to let go of other people's opinion of you and instead, step fully into your leadership power, I can help you accelerate the process feeling clear, calm, and confident. Schedule a discovery call and let's get you going!
